What 'Savoring Each Moment' With Your Kids Really Means

They were everywhere when my kids were small: older women smiling at me in the grocery store or approaching me at the library, their expressions softening at the sight of my baby’s plump cheeks, my toddler’s irrepressible grin. Before they opened their mouths to speak, I knew exactly what they were about to tell me: It all goes so fast. Enjoy them while they’re young. These women didn’t catch me at my most serene, but I always smiled politely and assured them I would do exactly that. Naturally, I didn’t mean a word of it.

Life with young kids is full of moments no one treasures, and the hours until a toddler’s naptime can seem slower than the day of labor it took to produce him. Didn’t those old ladies remember that? Why, I wondered, did they feel so compelled to urge me to enjoy every second?

Once my kids were tweens, those older women disappeared. There is universal agreement, it seems, that the parent of a 10-year-old need not be advised to enjoy every second. By then I felt far removed from the world of babies. My friends and I were focused on matters such as basketball practice and homework, and how to get our children to clean up their appalling rooms. I’d certainly acknowledge a cute infant when I spotted one in my daily rounds, but always with quick sigh of thankfulness to be done with diapers and sleepless nights.

It was only when my kids were teenagers that I began to notice babies again—really notice them. One day, minding my own business at the grocery store, I became aware of a curious pair of eyes regarding me unblinkingly from over the shoulder of a woman in the produce department. The baby’s cheeks were so delectably plump that I was tempted to give them a squeeze, like an avocado. Instead I smiled—and was rewarded by a huge, delighted grin.

I wanted to scoop that baby up and give her a kiss. The impulse was so strong that I actually had to take a step back to avoid being mistaken for a creepy hoverer. The mother turned around and caught my smile. “Um, your baby’s super cute,” I said. She thanked me and moved on to the bananas. As she walked away, I realized there was something I wanted to tell that woman. But following her and her baby would have been stalkerish, so I didn’t.