How Foster Care Changes Lives

Foster care changes lives in the nicest of ways—just ask Anne LiPuma of Wantagh, NY. She still vividly remembers the day she received an e-mail from Berkshire Farms Center & Services for Youth, asking if she’d be interested in becoming a foster parent to a 3-year-old boy. Anne, who had fostered a few other children previously, decided she had room in her life and her heart to take another child under her wing. Soon, she was introduced to Dustin.

Her heart melted at first sight of her new foster child. “He had very blonde hair and hazel eyes—he was such a beautiful boy,” Anne recalls fondly. Yet Dustin wasn’t without challenges. “He knew words, but his words weren’t clear,” Anne explains. “He had been diagnosed with nonverbal autism, which wasn’t the case, but they didn’t really know.”

The preschooler had already been in two other foster homes before hers; though he’d been treated lovingly, his previous families had other children to care for and didn’t feel they could give Dustin all the attention he deserved. Enter Anne: “My kids [Vivian, 21, and Jo, 19] were older and I was retired,” she says, adding that she worked for the Long Island Railroad for more than 30 years. As Dustin's foster parent she would be able to give him lots of time and attention.

Dustin would need plenty of both. Developmentally delayed and frustrated, he had frequent temper tantrums at first. “But I received tremendous support from my older children and friends, and also from Berkshire Farms,” Anne says. “Dustin was still having visits with his [biological] mom, and they would help with those visits. They also helped me through frequent phone conversations and support. They’d remind me to hang in there, and that things would get better.”

Hearing the magic word: "Mom"

Aided by special schooling, speech services, occupational therapy, and other therapeutic efforts, Dustin's verbal abilities and behavior steadily improved. “Within a year, he began speaking more clearly,” Anne says. And even before that, she adds, he showed signs of affection and attachment. “Everyone was pretty happy about that,” Anne shares.

At first, Dustin called Anne by her name. But gradually, there was a shift. “If he was shouting out for me, then he would start calling me ‘Mom,’ ” she remembers. “And then it became a regular thing.” He also bonded with Jo, who still lives at home—“he just adores him!” says Anne. “Jo plays the brother/father role because of his age and his level of maturity. He’s a very good influence on Dustim.”